Posts tagged ‘self-esteem’
If you want to revel in body confidence, turn off that self-critical tape that’s on a loop in your head.
● Quit cracking “jokes” about your body. “Even casual, half-kidding self-assessments get lodged in your brain as truth,” says Jeffers. Get into the habit of censoring yourself every time you’re about to utter a derogatory comment like “I’ll probably need a minus-A cup for my pancake chest.”
● Put yourself in the hot seat. “When negative beliefs creep into your mind, fight back and challenge each one like a trial lawyer,” says Mininni. If you think, I’ve gained so much weight, ask yourself What evidence is there? Have I had to throw out my old clothes and buy larger sizes? If the answer is no, you’ll have to face the harsh truth— you haven’t packed on the pounds.
● Listen to what those voices are really saying. Insecure thoughts can be deceiving. “They usually occur because you’re feeling powerless or scared in some aspect of your life,” says Los Angeles hypnotherapist Nancy Irwin, PsyD. So when that inner bitch taunts you, ask What’s really bothering me? Maybe you had a spat with your guy or you’re anxious about work. Identify the true source of your angst so you can ditch self-hate and tackle the real issue.
● Look at “I’m a hottie” evidence. Beth, 29*, blasts her body blues by flipping through a photo album she’s filled with the most flattering pictures of herself. “Seeing proof that I am attractive, despite what my mind is saying, makes me feel great about myself again,” she says.
● Enjoy being eye candy. Do you ever burn with self-consciousness when a guy checks you out— even if it’s your boyfriend trying to cop a stare as you make a dash sans clothes to the bathroom? Learn to love being ogled and your sex appeal—and confidence—will go through the roof.
● Step into his headspace. We assume that guys are just as hard on our bodies as we are, but that’s so not true. “Men admire the whole package,” says psychologist Sheenah Hankin, PhD, author of Complete Confidence. “They don’t pick you apart, and they don’t look longingly if they’re not liking what they see.” So when a babe is feasting his peepers on you in bed, remind yourself that he’s appreciating the scenery, not cataloging your “flaws.”
2thickmiss is a great girlfriend to have. She knows exactly what it takes to be self-confident and doesn’t mind to share her secrets with us.
1. Get a new haircut, outfit, and a new attitude. When I wake up some mornings feeling bad, I spruce up extra nice and it makes me feel better.
2. Manicures, pedicures, candlelit bubble baths and massages do wonders for your self-esteem.
3. Disconnect yourself from negative people, even if they are your significant others or family members. You may not realize it, but negative spirits cause YOU to become chronic negative thinkers. When all you hear are bad things, then you tend to start beliving them. Loose yourself! I don’t fool with my own mother for that very reason. You don’t need to listen to people telling you what you CAN’T DO, adopt some friends that tell you, YOU CAN DO IT.
4. Chill out, quit frowning, complaining and crying. Avoid situations that cause you to be upset. If you know everytime you go to Aunt Clara’s for Christmas dinner, there is always this family member dogging you, don’t go back. Hold the next dinner at your place and disinvite her/him and don’t feel bad about it. The law of the world is survival of the fittest, and if you are the weakest link, you must say good-bye.
5. Learn how to be selfish. If you don’t love who you are, then why should anyone else? When you love yourself and treat yourself right, you’re showing others how to love you and treat you right. And if they don’t like who you are, F**CK em! You don’t need them anyway.
