Posts from the ‘Humor’ Category
To Date or Not to Date?
You are dating a new guy. The first couple of dates go really well. After only a few weeks of happy dating his attitude seems to change for the worse. So here are few suggestions that will help you decide whether to continue dating him:
He promises you the world on the first date. A few weeks later: he is busy saving the world.
a. He is Superman. Continue dating.
b. You don’t believe in Superman. Move on to the next.
Your conversations went from versatile to a detailed discussion of the current weather conditions.
a. Weather is your favorite topic. Have another date.
b. He works for the weather channel. Don’t trust people from the weather industry. Next, please.
He is avoiding making plans with you.
a. He is making plans with someone else. You need to plan accordingly.
b. He is Superman. Continue dating.
He says he will call you right back. A few days go by without a trace of him.
a. You phone is broken. You need a new phone.
b. He forgot how to dial your number. You need a new date. Preferably more tech-savvy.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
2. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
6. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
10. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
