How To Know A Player

Don’t we think we recognize a player when we see one? A promiscuous man who knows – oh so well – how to read between your lines, who looks deep into your eyes and your heart starts beating faster, a man you would want to have all to yourself…

Then, all of a sudden – right when the birds of love are rehearsing the happy love song in your head – his presence begins to fade away, his phone calls become rare, and you turn into a restless creature spending most of your time ordering greasy Chinese food, stuffing yourself with chocolate and ice cream. You blame yourself for ignoring the red flags, for listening to his sweet voice but not hearing his words, and for letting yourself fall in his arms. You question yourself what went wrong but you can’t find the answer. The answer is you got played.

There are three types of players: player for life aka collective player, trial player, and last but not least, lovesick player. Each type might have different motives, similar intentions but the outcome is identical – your feelings will get hurt.

Player for life aka collective player is the most dangerous species among male players. He is a player by choice. As a true womanizer he has many years of experience. Enchanting women comes natural to him. He can easily identify his next victim just by looking at her for a couple of minutes. He knows exactly what she wants him to be, and it brings him great pleasure to slurp in the role she wants him to play. He likes to collect women as precious exhibits. He loves the challenge. The more challenging you are the more persistent he will become, and the longer he might stick around. He constantly falls in and out of love, and believes that unfulfilled love can be romantic. Once you get over him you will recall your encounter with him as a beautiful and passionate moment of happiness.

Trial player is the second common type among male players. He didn’t choose to be a player; he just got caught up in the game. He is very charming, above average looking guy who plays the role of the ‘guy next door’ pretty convincing. His desire for challenge is moderate; he rather goes for the type of women that is attracted to him in order to avoid rejection. He has entourage of boys that might not always be around him but does truly admire him for his deeds. He uses them as an excuse when you become redundant. He is not the most passionate and empathetic guy but there is something about him – possibly your idea of him being so close yet in reality so far. Once you get over him you will realize that there was nothing really special about him but a few romantic moments you both shared.

The last but not least type is lovesick player which is also the most harmless type. He seems like a player but actually he is not. He is still trying to get over his lost love and is desperately looking for her replacement. The first few dates with him are heaven despite the fact that he keeps bringing up his ex. Still, he is exactly the guy you can see yourself with. Then his attitude changes: he becomes easily annoyed, he is rushing you to get off the phone with him, he is not available on the weekends anymore. He realized that you are not her, and probably moved on to the next girl hoping that she will turn out to be his ex’s clone. Once he is out of your life, you will probably think of him as an unstable man who needs to get over his past and move on with his life.

The moral of that story is that it is impossible to completely avoid falling for a player or two but you can minimize the damage if you know who you are dealing with and what to expect from him.

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